Cultural Survival Skills

                     Obama Flowers For You!

    The following was sent to me by a smart

patriot who understands that a sarcastic humorous analogy can sometimes illustrate the absurdity of Marxist social designs more clearly than serious discussion.

    If you know someone who is in need of a remedial education about socialized medicine, more specifically Obmacare, this is a fun short-course.

    For those already in the know, it is a real hoot and is still required reading!

VTM, 11/25/13

Receptionist:  Hello, Welcome to Obama Flowers, My name is Trina. How can I help you?

 

Customer:  Hello.  I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number.

 

Receptionist:  Yes!  I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you.

 

Customer:  Thanks, I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it  delivered to my wife.

 

Receptionist:  Interrupting, Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our  minimum standards, I will  be happy to provide you with Red Roses.

 

Customer:  But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it  for years, my wife likes them.

 

Receptionist:  Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them.

 

Customer: Well, how much are  they?

 

Receptionist: It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package.

 

Customer: What’s the difference?

 

Receptionist: 6, 12,18 or 24 Red Roses.

 

Customer: The Silver package may be okay, how much is it?

 

Receptionist: It depends sir, what is your monthly income?

 

Customer: What does that have to do with anything?

 

Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy, then I can determine how much your out-of-pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department.

 

Customer: FlowerAid?

 

Receptionist: Yes, Flowers are a right.  Everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you can’t afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge.

 

Customer: Who said they were a right?

 

Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it constitutional.

 

Customer: Whoa!  I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right.

 

Receptionist:  It is not really a “Right in  the Constitution,” but Obama Flowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court  Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a right.

 

Customer: I don’t believe this.

 

Receptionist: It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income sir?

 

Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year.

 

Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income.

 

Customer: Why?

 

Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost would be.

 

Customer: WHAT?  You can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers!

 

Receptionist: It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income.

 

Customer interrupting: This is ridiculous, I’ll pay the $9.50.

 

Receptionist: Sir, it is $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater.

 

Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a rip-off!

 

Receptionist: Actually sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%.

 

Customer: Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going  to pay it.

 

Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir.  That’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using.

 

Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?

 

Receptionist: So they get your GPS coordinates sir.

 

Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door

 

Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir.  Thanks for calling Obama Flowers.  Have a nice day and God Bless America